Thoughts

As I was just rocking Colby to sleep, I was thinking. I've been coming across as complaining about not getting enough sleep, him not being on a schedule and him crying. I came home the other night and told Rowdy I was aggravated. He said, Colby aggravated you? I said no, not knowing why he was so fussy aggravated me. I just want my baby to be happy, that's all. Sometimes I'm afraid something is wrong or he isn't feeling well. I just want to fix it. He hardly cried long at all today for the first time. I think I figured out that if I rock him to sleep right away, it is a lot easier.

I can't even remember some of the things that happened in the hospital and the first few weeks. It's sad that he is too little and won't remember any of it. I love all the noises he makes or the way he moves sometimes. And here I am complaining about not being able to sleep. Tonight for the first time, I didn't want to put him in his bed. I know I have to go to sleep to be able to take care of him. I hope I always remember all his noises and all the little sweet things he does. I'm not upset with him because of the crying and all. I'm just worried why he isn't happy sometimes.

I used to feel like I had to take care of him all by myself all day. Now I realize that it isn't that I have to...but, that I get to.